It is perfect natural, there is nothing ;wrong in it. It is how it should be. Love is a natural need; it islike food. If you are hungry, of course you will feel a deep unease. Without love your soul is hungry; love is a soul of nourishment. Just as body needs food, water, air, the soul need love. But the soul also needs freedom, and it is one of the most strange things that we have not accepted this fact yet.
If there is love there is no need to destroy your freedom. They both can exist together; there is no antagonism between them . It is because of your foolishness that we have created the antagonism. Hence the monks think the worldly people are fools-they are missing joys of life.
A great priest was asked "What is Love?"
The Priest Said "A word made up of two vowels, two consonants and two fools!"
That is their condemnation of love. Because all the religions have condemned love; they have praised freedom very much. In India we call the ultimate experience MOKSHA; MOKSHA means absolute freedom.
You Say: I tell myself that I should be able to spark myself without the other but so far no luck.
It will remain so, if it will not change. You should rather change your conditioning about love and freedom. Love the person but give the person total freedom. Love the person but from the very beginning make it clear that you are not selling your freedom. OSHO
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